You can do it! Dont give up. I read that food cravings only last about 2 minutes, so if you could take your mind off it or distract yourself you should be good. Im here to tell you as someone who hates exercise, after you start exercising everyday, even if for only 20 minutes, you will WANT to do it. You'll love the energy it gives you and you'll love the results you'll see as the number on the scale goes down a little bit everyday.But it really does become a habit and it will actually BOTHER you if you skip a day.lol. Oh yeah and another big help, if you dont buy the food that tempts you, it will help alot when you crave them. Alot of people wont jump in their car just to get some chips, you know what I mean? If I actually bought all the snacks I love, I already know Id be 50 lbs heavier. Stick to your goal though, your wife will be so proud!!!!

I was doing well with my eating habits until the cold weather set in. I learned the hard way that where chocoloate is concerned, a can of Eagle Brand with Half and Half goes a long way. I have perfected hot fudge sauce and buttercream frosting in the microwave. Fortunately there was some low quality ice cream on sale. Sitting there in the freezer, it prevents me from buying better ice cream, although of the four flavors of ice cream, I washed the chocolate base ice cream down the sink because the added ingredients smelled so disgusting. Also to save money on occasional snacks, I bought a couple of brownie mixes on sale for dirt cheap. Unfortunately the quality far exceeded what I paid. So I've had to STOP!! in the name of self-love.

What has helped me is keeping a bubble pack of honeycrisp apples on my desk, putting an old microwave in my study for keeping the hot tea and my bladder flowing, and starting and ending each day with a bowl of flax bran flakes topped with soy milk and fresh assorted berries. I also keep in the refrigerator a container of mixed beans and vegetables (chili, black, cannellini and a can of fiesta corn with red and green peppers, onions, picante sauce, bbq sauce, pepper vinegar, jalopenos, cumin, onion powder, paprika, and cayenne).

I've never been much of a beer drinker which accounts for why we have so much beer in the house left over from entertaining. After a trip to Suppenkuche in SF, I got hooked on beer for a while, but now I'm just longing for one bottle of a dark sweet German import that begins with an A and is often sold only as single bottles which are exceptionally tall. Unfortunately I can't remember the name which is probably just as well, although we will be in SF again before the end of the year.

Your discipline is not only admirable but the only way to go. Well, actually it's not the only way to go as evidenced by my own exercise behavior lately. In fact my exercise behavior may be the way to go whereas yours may be the way to stay. If I want to stay, I'd better start following your example again. My greatest exercise lately has been climbing the stairs and raking leaves. There's no excuse for my lack of exercise.

Hope your back feels better soon. I've bought two used cushioned glider rockers and put them facing each other to make a cradle so that I can rock with my feet up in front of the TV to remain in contiunual motion. I find it comforting and it seems to help my circulation. It feels great to wake up after having fallen asleep in a rocker too.

Somehow there seem to be waves of communication moving through my life. I looked out the kitched window at a tree I wished I had trimmed back further and that day the same tree trimmer showed up at my door seeking work. I thought about a woman with whom I use to teach. She is now in her 80's. Within a few days, after not having been in contact in 5 or 6 years, she called me on the phone. I put things on a mental wish list and they turn up. I've been wanting a couple of those hassocks with lids in which I can store sheet music by the piano, but I couldn't really afford to buy them in recent months, but yesterday they were on clearance at practically nothing.

And here you are. I've been wanting not only to know how you're doing, but also what your take is on the election. And you answer my questions. The area where we live is largely Republican. We tend to socialize with rather liberal friends in the next county. I was amazed to see so many neighbors, however, putting yard signs out for Obama. I took in my Obama lawn sign for Halloween and put it out again today. I'm so untrusting of people who have been caught on cameras about town stealing yard signs.  We had only one trick or treater last night--a two-year-old girl. I guess the kids around here have either outgrown trick or treating or are attending parties or are walking around the newer adjacent subdivisions where there are younger families and a more celebratory ambience. I used to have a real human skeleton which I used to teach figure drawing. This year I gave it away to a personal injury attorney as part of my estate planning. I didn't want to have to pay for a casket and a cemetary plot for it and it's not something one can leave by the side of the road.

yo you gots to get to this city so we bike peeps can teach you how to repair a puncture!!!

 thanks for your comment which I concur with completely!

 P.S.- there are also two organizations which I am sure have web addresses(albeit I don't know

 them exactly..guess you can Google 'em..) Transportation Alternatives(basedin NYC) and

 Times Up(also in the city) I am sure they too would happy to relate any info you would need

 to attend.

 I am glad you are keeping up with the biking!!! Critical Mass is held at about 7:30pm the last Friday

of each month...riders usually gather at Union Square and then a secret word is slipped around

in order to thwart the efforts of being uber controlled by the police...(riders may leave Union Square

 in small groups until everyone regroups at a near-by location.)

  I will do my best  to keep you posted and if you do show at Critical Mass perhaps I could entice

 you to take a posture for a lense????

(thanks for the compliment!!!)

  Critical Mass is a great and liberating experience ...I hope you can partake of it.

I'm glad your tests have had good results. You certainly have done your part to take care of what God has given you.

I turn 62 in a couple months. Tomorrow is my last of 8 physical therapy sessions as determined by insurance. I've gained some strength in my leg and and learned enough to continue on my own.

I recently wanted one of those heavy straps that are used to pull the leg and foot for increased mobility. The drugstore wanted $24 for one, but I found a safetry strap at Lowe's for about $8 that is every bit as strong and wide and works the same.

I hadn't used a recumbent bicycle in a long time until therapy. I had forgotten how good it feels--or actually didn't appreciate how good it felt because I wasn't as focused on the advantages it provides. Gosh, it makes a smartass even smarter. Is that really what I mean? All I know is too much time on a regular bicycle seat make my ass smart and everything else numb. I remember when you found a discarded recumbent bike and restored it to working condition yourself. I'm hoping to find a used one since I really can't justify the expense right now and there's really no place to put it at the moment. I'll have to create new space with a few trips to Goodwill.

I've had a Total Gym for a long time, but it's been in the closet since before surgery. One really good outcome of physical therapy has been to relieve me of the fear of further damaging my knee by doing some activities that are actually good for it. As I was introduced to the leg press in recent weeks, I have resumed use of the Total Gym for the legs as well.

I'm kind of mindless when it comes to counting in part due to my short attention span. When I have to do 20 five-count reps (1-2-3-4-1, 1-2-3-4-2, etc.) I easily lose my  place because I keep thinking other things or if someone else is in the room, I want to converse. For less that a few bucks I bought a little handheld clicker counter which allows me to count 1-2-3-4-5 over and over without having to tabulate the quantity of reps. I'm so uncoordinated in some ways that when I was exercising my left leg, I switched the counter from my left hand to my right hand midway through my reps and found myself switching legs as well. It took me awhile to master up-left-right-down-right-left on the stepping block. What made it easier was not having to rest my right leg on the block at all. Being able to keep the right leg in motion from up-front-down-back eliminated my confusion. On the other hand my flexibility is pretty good. When I started physical therapy there was only a 3-degree difference between the angle of bend on my good knee versus the knee on which surgery was performed.

[NightListener]

Looks as if our hippie days are over. As we've learned from Janis Joplin and Jimmy Hendrix, some things are irreplaceable. It would be ironic if our whole generation winds up on pot to kill the pain.

Hope you live to be leader of the pack. I can picture you still going strong at 82.

Sad about your surgeon's suicide. I'm sure when his patients heard the news, they were all torn up.

Good to know your legs are the same length. I bet it makes you glad too that your penis is shorter than 91 cm. I'd hate to have mine grating against the concrete all day. And that's one thing I wouldn't want getting caught in the spokes or the chain. I'd hate to be known as 000000stubby.

[NightListener]

Thanks for telling me your wife sometimes reads my diary. I consider her a friend since she's been so much a part of your writing.  It was on Ben & Jerry's (Rocky Road or whatever they call it) where I really felt the bonding.

[NightListener]

You're like the Energizer Bunny in that you just keep going and going. Arm machine at Gold's! Good going. Biking to gym! Good going! Rejuenating nap. Priceless!

I went to bed at 12:30 last night and rose at 4:30 a.m. to write. Did laundry. Gave myself a haircut. Ate breakfast--my protein powder in orange-carrot juice and oat bran flakes with berries and soy milk. About to shower. Have to pack to drive 250 miles for a funeral of a sister-in-law's mother tomorrow. Will also try to take my mother out while there with my wife. And then we drive back tomorrow night. Rejuvenating nap at hotel tonight? Still priceless!

Eighteen to twenty miles!!

I'm impressed!

A good way to have Healthy new beginings in 2008 is to be having a Healthy ending in 2007. Looks like you're off to a good start by being off to a good finish. Merry Christmas to you, your wife, your sons, and your extended family.

I'm so glad you are still working out.. exercise does help de stress, and you sound like you have a very stressful, (yet rewarding) job. Take care.

I watched "Grey's Anatomy" last night--the plot portrayed all the characters having a bad day with a moral at the end that it happens to everyone and when it does, we need to pick ourselves up and face tomorrow anew.

You are a prime example of someone I would characterize as doing just that day after day. 

You've written about Rudy before and are clearly invested in his doing well. I'm sorry to hear that he let you and himself down. As disappointed as you are, I know you will find a way to regroup and continue to put dedication into your continued efforts to help others.

That you are going to the gym regularly is a sign that you are taking care of you. The flight attendant routine advice that we should don our own oxygen masks before attempting to help others with theirs is excellent advice.

You can control to some extent the efforts you make on behalf of others, but you can't control how others will respond to your efforts made on their behalf. You make such positive efforts in general. It's good karma when you get to derive the benefits of the convergence of your own knowledge, your attitudes, and your energy.

[NightListener]

hmmm........Yes, this is true.  I had never thought of this concept.  So, how do you feel about the 12 step programs, counseling, etc.?  Kinda the same concept or is it different?  Just wondering.....hope you are well.  AW

Sometimes we just need weekends like this, eh?  We fixed the roof after our wind storm.  AW

Thank you so much for your comment! You always give me such great advice about my son, and I appreciate that so much!

Very awesome that you lost 15 pounds so far~ I am so happy for you~ you have worked hard and deserve it!

Renae

every so often we are allowed the big, bad meals...lol.

i like you, have to push myself somedays to hit the gym.  i know, in the back of my mind that it will bother me if i don't go, so i usually just get it over with, and afterwards, i'm so glad that i did.

I hear ya on the eating thing.. I have no problem working out.. but food is my problem! I dont see you as having a problem like that though.. everyone overeats once in awhile. You have been doing great.. you deserve a day to slack off.. the only problem is if you did it too often... you are very determined and I don't see that happening either. Maybe you could spend some time with your wife for a bit, on her personal day! Take care!

Renae

you are doing it now, and that counts. 

kudos to you!!!

To show you how out of touch with current events I am right now-- I didn't at first understand your comment: "Geo. W would be overwhelmed and shown for a tot with these people."

And then I realized you weren't talking about George Washington.

Perhaps it's true that the acorn (like the cherry) doesn't fall far from the tree. In this respect, I am referring to myself, not to anyone else.

(un)chubby.....I'm so envious in only the best of ways.  When I am procrastinating, it's usually about the exercise.  My eliptical is sitting in the corner of my bedroom, rain is falling outside, therefore, what needs to be done????  well, yes, of course you are correct, but my eliptical will probably continue to be unused till late today.  Why? you might ask..........BECAUSE I PROCRASTINATE!  Keep up the really good work.  AW

My son was getting SSI.. well, still is until my husband gets the severance in a few weeks. I don't really know the difference between SSI and SSDI- I live in Ny and seems like you totally get screwed here.. on lots of things! My husband's younger brother is an attorney.. we'll have to ask him about the trust you suggested.. thanks for letting me know!

Hi there?

You're trying to lose weight???>.... Haven't read your past entries (+1000??!!!), so sorry if you've answered this in one of them.

Take care

Mia

I've got alot of that loose fat.. glad to know it's not necessarily there to stay..LOL.

I totally know what you mean about different characters being fascinating.. when I was working at this retail store in my late teens and early 20s the different people I worked with there were so wild, I used to draw characatures of them (i love to draw) and I would leave them on the breakroom tables and everyone would think it was hilarious.. and usually the people that I drew the pic of wanted to keep it. I did that for years and thank God it never hurt anyones feelings! One older man I worked with seemed very odd and lived at the YMCA. I became friendly with him, turns out he went to Georgetown with a full scholorship! Something was a little 'off' with him, but I just love people that are out there a bit.. makes life interesting.

Sounds like you are taking all the right steps to ensure a healthier future! I love your determination and wish you would post more, as it really encourages me to do the same!

renae

You have your role models and I have mine. You're one of mine. Keep up the good work.

I like elliptical better than a bike. Even the new age foam bike seats get to me where I don't want to be gotten to. I wish they had movie theaters with gym equipment instead of seats. It would be fun to experience a good crowd pleaser with the communal experience while remaining in motion.

I do admire your taking so much pleasure in being out in the cold and damp as much as you are on your bike. The sense of people and places adds a lot to the exercise experience, but more and more I'm finding myself an indoor person.

That's so awesome that you are sticking with things at the gym! I might look into a gym membership eventually, but for right now I am still very intimidated by them! I feel like that one commercial.. "where do I go to get fit, to go to the gym" .. I feel like a big cow and would be horrified by working out in front of those that are fit and buff.. LOL.

That pic of you on SP does not look like you need to lose as much weight as you are hoping to!

I love this...  "well if you don't want to listen to swearing on the tape player, don't curse in front of the microphone"   So true, I know by experience!

Congrats on being 10 pounds down from your all time highest. I know you prob wish it were more but it will be, in time!

renae

BTW did I ever tell you I'm a Jehovah's Witness?

I'm not. But did I ever tell you I was?

I remember back when you started your diary.. not at the first entry, but by about entry 30 or so!  I always looked forward to reading about you, because you seemed so determined and it inspired me alot. That's why, even though I have only been here off and on in the last three years.. I always look you up. Even before you gave me advice about my son, I was impressed by your drive to become fit and healthier!

I definately like your outlook on things like the honeymoon period for kids.. giving them credit that atleast they are strong enough for that. I think too many people dont give people enough credit, or give them a chance. Those that look down at others  dont realize that eventually if so many people look down at you, you will start believing that you aren't capable of getting better or being someone who is respected, and then it's all downhill from there.

If there were more people like you that tried to change the world one person at a time the world would be a much happier and productive place!

[BasicBlack]

good job, lolz, I wish i could work on my abbs but yet they just dont do anything oh well, hope you continue your schedule, have a great day

xoxo~anonymousxpoet

Wow, sounds like the gym is a good thing for you.. I could not see myself in a gym at this point in my life I would feel extra fat because of all the nice fit young chics there.. LOL.

I had to laugh when I read about the tattooed girl- I don't have any tattooes, but have considered one before.. I just know that it would be forever and I don't know if it's something I'd like on me forever. These people that get covered with them are either very sure of themselves, or maybe they dont really give a damn! My sister's husband has some.. but he's starting to look like a memo pad.. just getting them wherever he sees a free spot on his upper body!

[BasicBlack]

U r already an optimistic person 2 me. It's good 2 stay healthy, b-cos healthy can make u happy & happy ppl r the most beautiful ones! WAY 2 GO!!

I had to look you up! I used to read your diary everyday a few years back.. more like three or four years ago. I deleted that diary, and then a while later tried it again, but didnt stick with it. This time I am going to try to keep it, and hopefully that will help me relieve daily stress!

Anyway.. I am going to read your back entries.. I am so pleased to see that you are still working on your health. I remember you used to keep track of your mileage you did each year and try to do better the next.. I always thought that was a great idea, do you still do that? You were definately an inspiration and great help of information to me, about my son, in the past. Thank you for that.

I enjoyed your adventure from the comfort of my computer chair. I also enjoyed that it wasn't I, but I'm sorry it was you. Even so you did have an adventure and now that it's over, you have memories. And you survived! As the cramps subside, surely the pleasure of accomplishment will make it pretty much all worthwhile. At least you hadn't sailed the ocean blue in 1492 before having to turn back at the edge of the world.

Ray's comment to you drew me to your comment to Ray. Simple and very insightful. We all need to get out of our comfort zones to find new outlooks. Looks like you set an example by getting out of your comfort zone as part of your explorations.

Thanks for the tip on Coke as an antidote to leg cramps.

I'm glad to see that Steve Irwin's spririt lives on in you. But then you have always shared with him a keen joy in nature and its inhabitants.

I'm also glad to know at last why the salamander crosses the road. I thought it was to get to the other side, but apparently that was a red herring.

As social as you tend to be, you'll probably enjoy going to a gym, especially in winter. Then you'll have even more energy for walking the dog.

This is such a short but funny entry, especially your last line.

Btw, thanx 4 your comment. I know it's imperfect, because some people just don't even want to share the world with the others.

Wow, you've been on MDD for like A LONG TIME!!! You have a lot of entries!!! Wowowowowowowowowow! Seven years??? Nuh uh!!! That's like unreal!!!

Jenelle

...You know what? after 1063 entries of monotone robotic entries...i'm starting to think...i mean...come on...you've gotta be ripped by now!...with all that excercise? i mean sh*t!, plus. don't u ever get sick of it? it seems like you're obsessed with losing weight..(which i can relate to)..but it makes me wonder...will it ever be enough? will you ever be thin enough? strong enough? will you ever have mastered the routine of excercise and sweat that you've created for yourself?...

Just something to think about .Muchlove. .GoodLuck.

Mika